No bullshit runner

I've never pretended to be anything other than a normal everyday runner.
Just getting out. Not fast.
Not fast saying I'm slow, but actually slow.
Needing to walk at times. Especially up hills. Not a coach, no qualifications relatable to running.
I'm not a guide or pretending to be one. Just an average runner. A no bullshit runner.
And so I'm not afraid to admit that today my fear of heights (discovered in my 40s) took hold and forced me to leave my run, just 0.2 miles from it's destination. A trig. I'd plotted the run on my maps. It should have been straight forward. 

The paths were easy enough to follow, but the higher it got I headed into clag which hid the summit. After a lot of climbing, steps and cairns I could only see a 'wall' in front of me. Am I to scrabble up? What if I can't get back down!

I began to mildly panic and sat down to call my OH. "I'm heading back" I said, at that moment clouds rolled by and I saw how high I'd ac…


after a run I look at my strava and I'm horrified. Am I really so slow? Did it really take me X amount of time to run X amount of miles? What was I even doing?!
Then [sometimes] I look back at the run.
I took photos of the views that sometimes  held me breathless for a few minutes. 
I sometimes walked the overgrown ankle-breaking trods as I'm recovering from a recent injury to my ankle and I don't want to be off my feet again.
I don't run downhill as fast, sometimes I pick my way gingerly, I my lost confidence, but I'll get it back.  
Sometimes I walked the up-hill climbs. Suunto later suggested that I had climbed over 1000ft of elevation on today's run.
I checked my maps sometimes, looking for new ways to go, new routes to take, new adventures to explore. 
Sometimes I stop to wet my hands and face in the rushing cool stream as it's so warm out. Sometimes I stop to chat or to help lost walkers find their way back to their path. 
Today I sat on the bench o…

I run a lonely trail

I run a lonely trail
The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I run alone

I run these empty moors
On the trods of broken dreams

Where the wildlife sleeps

And I'm the only one, and I run alone

I run alone, I run alone
I run alone and I run alone 

My shadow's the only one that runs beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

Till then I run alone

I'm running down the trail
That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the inside of the edge

And where I run alone

Run between the trees
It's fucked up but everything's all right

Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive

And I run alone

I run alone, I run alone
I run alone and I run.

*credit to Greenday -
Boulevard of Broken Dreams*

Today does not define me

Not something I really want to talk about, so I'll keep it brief...

Todays I won't eat

Anorexia nervosa

Today I have low self esteem

Today I want to be someone else

Today I am drunk


Today I am unhappy

Today I was beaten

Domestic abuse

Today I have no confidence

Today I am alone


Binge eating disorder (BED)

Today I will be sick


Today I've done drugs

Today I'm not hungry

Today I'm on a diet

Today I'm counting calories

Today I've taken Laxatives

Today Other specified feeding or eating disorder (OSFED)

Today nothing fits

Today I feel fat

Today is for Exercise

Today my thyroid is under active

Today I am tired

Today I will just sleep

Today I am anxious


Today I am ok

Today does not define me


Balance.  When I broke my ankle I worked on balance to encourage the healing and rehabilitation of it. I would balance on one leg while cleaning my teeth, waiting for the kettle to boill, chopping vegetables etc. I also got a wobble board and used weights to add a challenge. I haven't balanced in a while, but I have recently began to again.  But why should we? And not only runners but why should anyone / everyone balance!
"Individuals showing poor balance on one leg should receive increased attention, as this may indicate an increased risk for brain disease and cognitive decline."
Don't panic! It may just be a case of being out of practice! Here are the guidelines to start you with your balancing.
An easy guide:
See how long you can stand on one leg before putting your foot back down. Repeat two more times and average your scores. The mean score at;

age 20, 30 seconds
age 30, 25 seconds
age 40, 15 seconds
age 50, 10 seconds
age 60, 7 seconds
age 70, 5 second…

34 Reasons Why

The Menopause and how it can/may/does affect women who run!

There are [maybe] 34 reasons why you're currently finding running difficult today.

The 34 Symptoms of the female Menopause

    1.  Hot Flashes
    2.  Irregular Periods
    3.  Fatigue
    4.  Memory Lapses
    5.  Night Sweats
    6.  Loss of Libido
    7.  Vaginal Dryness
    8.  Mood Swings
    9.  Panic Disorder
    10. Urinary Tract Infection
    11. Bloating
    12. Hair Loss or Thinning
    13. Sleep Disorders
    14. Dizziness
    15. Weight Gain
    16. Incontinence
    17. Headaches
    18. Burning Tongue
    19. Digestive Problems
    20. Muscle Tension
    21. Allergies
    22. Brittle Nails
    23. Body Odor Change
    24. Itchy Skin
    25. Osteoporosis
    26. Tingling Extremities
    27. Insomnia
    28. Difficulty Concentrating
    29. Irregular Heartbeat
    30. Anxiety
    31. Depression
    32. Breast Pain
    33. Joint Pain
    34. Electric Shock Sensation

Take my run this morning for example:
It was raining out, so I put on my waterproof…

Rescue Underwear

Do you remember Skinny Sally advising on skorts/shorts, from my latest blog? Running Rants. Well, I'm not her! 
I have difficulty finding skorts that don't ride up leaving my chub rub to chafe.
I know that I represent a vast majority of women who run who are larger ladies, ladies with strong thighs, whos' shorts are being constantly pulled down, ladies who are uncomfortable and chafing! 
We're a market in the running sector that I feel is not quite catered for. We'd like to wear skorts and shorts and be comfortable and chafe free while doing so.
A flaw in the market maybe? A missed opportunity? I feel that short shorts (that aren't the compression style) don't tend to stay put or keep covered the bits that rub. As I do like skorts, I looked for a way around the chafing problem when shorts inevitably eventually ride up.
Answer. Long underwear shorts. 
Oh the irony of buying long shorts to go under my shorts! Or now as I call them, 'Rescue Underwear'.
This i…