The real illstopwhenimdone

The real illstopwhenimdone. How my runs really are ...
9.7 miles  Strava: moving time 2:29:15
Loosely plan a route and set off on it.
Stop to sort out your toe nail. 
Wish you'd taken the other path, this one's swimming. 

See a path not on your planned route, always wondered where it went. 
Go off exploring on it. Obviously. Check map.

Know where you are now again.
Run a for bit, no need for map.
Take some photos, because sheep!.

See that your next paths' coming up
It's not really a fucking path is it? 
Go past it. There's another soon.

Exchange work related messages with boss. Make a bathroom stop. Check your map.

See another way that looks inviting, follow this. It's a good path, but leads to road. Run on yhe road for a while ...

Feel tired and wonder if phoning the other half is an option.  Suck it up and carry on. Get a text from daughter to reminded you to pick her up. 

You're on the moors. 
With miles still to go yet. Exchange a few more texts. 
Messages the other half in a pa…

Trail Running: Winter.

Winter running through the eyes of a slow, middle-aged, overweight Northern off road trail and moors runner. A mirror blog of the blog Trail Running: Summer.
Winter is here. Although being Northern / oop norf it can be sometimes difficult to tell if it ever stopped being winter ... 
Its often still dark at 7oclock, no beautiful sunrise or sunsets, just grey. I don't need to be up and out before the heat, instead I'm more likely waiting for a fuckin gap in the downpours!.

Usually I just go out and hope for the best. After all skin is waterproof, we have waterproof kit (ooh see my latest blog Wet Wet Wet) and running in the rain is good for erm whatever!
On the plus I don't need to carry a tonne of water! Depending on the miles I do still need some, for hydration as I don't think we realise we still need to replace fluids as we're still sweating in our boil in a bag coats, we just think it's letting in water ...
Pre-running preparation is quicker. You don't need t…

Wet wet wet

Winter is fast approaching and where I could recommend a waterproof jacket I'll just discuss waterproofness. Here is (I hope) an easy comprehensive collection of information I've sourced around the jargon and popped in one place (here).
I need a waterproof coat.
The truth is, unless it's made of a non-porous material like rubber, no jacket is 100% waterproof. Rubber is non-porous, it's also not breathable nor is it comfortable!.
So lets discuss 'waterproof' in jackets.
1) Water Resistance: able to resist the penetration of water to some degree but not entirely. This offers the lowest level of water protection. If a garment resists water, it's usually because the fabric itself is acting as a barrier between you and a light shower. 
2) Water Repellent: not easily penetrated by water, especially as a result of being treated for such a purpose with a surface coating. Water repellent is therefore a step up from water resistance. This means that water can't easily…

No bullshit runner

I've never pretended to be anything other than a normal everyday runner.
Just getting out. Not fast.
Not fast saying I'm slow, but actually slow.
Needing to walk at times. Especially up hills. Not a coach, no qualifications relatable to running.
I'm not a guide or pretending to be one. Just an average runner. A no bullshit runner.
And so I'm not afraid to admit that today my fear of heights (discovered in my 40s) took hold and forced me to leave my run, just 0.2 miles from it's destination. A trig. I'd plotted the run on my maps. It should have been straight forward. 

The paths were easy enough to follow, but the higher it got I headed into clag which hid the summit. After a lot of climbing, steps and cairns I could only see a 'wall' in front of me. Am I to scrabble up? What if I can't get back down!

I began to mildly panic and sat down to call my OH. "I'm heading back" I said, at that moment clouds rolled by and I saw how high I'd ac…


after a run I look at my strava and I'm horrified. Am I really so slow? Did it really take me X amount of time to run X amount of miles? What was I even doing?!
Then [sometimes] I look back at the run.
I took photos of the views that sometimes  held me breathless for a few minutes. 
I sometimes walked the overgrown ankle-breaking trods as I'm recovering from a recent injury to my ankle and I don't want to be off my feet again.
I don't run downhill as fast, sometimes I pick my way gingerly, I my lost confidence, but I'll get it back.  
Sometimes I walked the up-hill climbs. Suunto later suggested that I had climbed over 1000ft of elevation on today's run.
I checked my maps sometimes, looking for new ways to go, new routes to take, new adventures to explore. 
Sometimes I stop to wet my hands and face in the rushing cool stream as it's so warm out. Sometimes I stop to chat or to help lost walkers find their way back to their path. 
Today I sat on the bench o…

I run a lonely trail

I run a lonely trail
The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I run alone

I run these empty moors
On the trods of broken dreams

Where the wildlife sleeps

And I'm the only one, and I run alone

I run alone, I run alone
I run alone and I run alone 

My shadow's the only one that runs beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

Till then I run alone

I'm running down the trail
That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the inside of the edge

And where I run alone

Run between the trees
It's fucked up but everything's all right

Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive

And I run alone

I run alone, I run alone
I run alone and I run.

*credit to Greenday -
Boulevard of Broken Dreams*

Today does not define me

Not something I really want to talk about, so I'll keep it brief...

Todays I won't eat

Anorexia nervosa

Today I have low self esteem

Today I want to be someone else

Today I am drunk


Today I am unhappy

Today I was beaten

Domestic abuse

Today I have no confidence

Today I am alone


Binge eating disorder (BED)

Today I will be sick


Today I've done drugs

Today I'm not hungry

Today I'm on a diet

Today I'm counting calories

Today I've taken Laxatives

Today Other specified feeding or eating disorder (OSFED)

Today nothing fits

Today I feel fat

Today is for Exercise

Today my thyroid is under active

Today I am tired

Today I will just sleep

Today I am anxious


Today I am ok

Today does not define me